Rock Solid Game

The red pill of game was like seeing the matrix for me. There were things I’d always known and understood but not understood why. And not wanting to accept it, I’d stuck my head in the sand. I’d allowed myself to play social roles where I was the beta male or the lower value partner because it was easier than jockeying for position every day. I’d allowed others to do the work and make decisions because in all honesty it was just easier, but I’d always known that I was playing a lower value social role. I’d never liked it, but it was easy and I was lazy. 

Now I was meeting new people, positive people, like Humphrey G. People who were pushing me to take control and grow, rather than trying to subvert me into a place where they felt more comfortable with me. I was caught in a position where I was moving on. As I was practicing pick up and becoming more alpha, I was becoming less and less able to go back home to my flatmates, old friends, who treated me like a kid brother. 

Neither side did anything untoward, but the new me, who wouldn’t supplicate or defer, was different. It made people uncomfortable. In particular one friend who I had had for 20 years had a hard time handling this shift. Our dynamic changed. It was no longer big brother, little brother. I was making decisions. I was taking responsibility. If a phone bill came and it was too high, I’d call BT and look into it rather than not bothering. This was unusual behaviour for me. Why was I being difficult and not just going with the flow like normal?  

So rifts began to develop. Old friends tried harder to keep me in my place. Resentments grew. When wings came round to see me, comments would be made, put downs or they’d just be ignored entirely. 

I could see some of the society and friendships I had spent the last ten years of my life building just break off and drift. Like a section of ice breaking from the iceberg. There was a gulf, small at first, but ever larger. I didn’t care either. I am not saying this is a good thing, I am not advising people do this or accept this. I am just telling it like it was. I was so wrapped up in game, I was consumed.

New friends – these were predominantly wings I’d met. At first just G and a couple of other guys I had met on forums who I don’t remember now – were different. They were firstly encouraging me to be positive and alpha and they also never knew the old me. So there was no shift to accustom. I was loving spending my time with these exciting new people. It was fun, friendly and we got women. The old friends became ever more unfriendly, serious, nagging, bitter. 

My band started to break down. My time became valuable and I would no longer laugh it off while a singer turned up at the last minute for a gig. I’d no longer be willing to carry his guitar to the gig while he took his time getting there. It wasn’t an over sensitivity to being AMOGED, it was just a realisation – what do I give, what do I get back, and from my actions what value do they perceive of me? How does this affect their treatment of me tomorrow?

I found a new band. (Former) Dictators. They were musically much better than my old band. It was a big step up. Formerly signed to Sony, had some trouble, sacked from the label and forced to restart, with a good management behind them. I joined, we started doing gigs. Big labels were coming to watch us. My life became my work at a media company in Canary Wharf, field sales, travelling the country. Returning home, planning sarges or gigs and rehearsals. I had no time for or interest in anything that didn’t support any of those activities. 

There was a girl at work I had liked. Sweet girl, Northern. Alicia. I had liked her pre game and attempted to make some kind of connection. I did it the only way I knew how, small talk, trying to pique interest and rapport. It had worked for me in the past (in one job I was sleeping with 5 out of 9 girls in the office. They all knew about each other and I was having threesomes with two of them) but not this time. No big deal.

And this is the key. Alicia ended up dating a guy at work and I didn’t understand WHY. Why was she piqued by him and not me. I was funny, played in a band, had a cool life. He had short hair like all the other guys at work, was focussed only on his job. A bit faceless and boring. A bit of an office clone. I actually had trouble telling him apart from the other guys. 

So to me I put it down to the mystery of ‘who knows why attraction works like that’ and moved on. 2 months into game and I knew EXACTLY what had happened. 

And not just there. Every relationship in which I had previously succeeded and failed and just put it down to ‘there’s no accounting for the mysteries of the human heart’ suddenly became clear. They all followed the same patterns. The failures had been preceded by low value behaviour and the successes had been followed by high value behaviour. Largely. 

A couple of months into game and I was at a birthday party with the old crowd. Some were fascinated by pickup (Kris Night and his brother), but there was a core who were disparaging. They were forcing the gap between the ice. One of my old friends brought a date, they were just friends. I spotted IOIs and I seduced her that night. It was very easy. The lines had been drawn, I knew I was going to leave my old life. I was forcing the gap in the ice too.