Rock Solid Game

I'm writing this, my first proper post, straight after a Friday night out in West London. It might be a bit sketchy at times as I've had a couple!

After probably the longest theory session known to man (It's been about 2 years since I first read David De Angelo's Double Your Dating ebook and I've listened to/read/watched almost everything else out there, and my PUA field-practice could probably be squeezed into less than a day.)

Still, I'm finally serious about putting in the practice. So much so that I went out on my own tonight as I don't know anyone to wing with, as my friends would only hinder me and put me in a less sociable state!

Anyway, as I was saying, I went out alone for the first time in my life, to a local late night bar. I ended up feeling really awkward but just trying to focus on getting comfortable with my surroundings. I ended up spending my time walking around for an hour and standing alone watching the live band with a beer (yeah, I know, Super High Status!!!)

At this point I knew I wasn't helping myself so I wandered off out of the bar as I looked like a willy.

I had to regroup, so I decided to go for a walk around the streets for a half hour listening to some motivational mp3s (no, seriously) that got me thinking straight. I went back in and put out the best vibe I could muster. 

I've realised my approach anxiety is crippling... and I am trying to get over this. Thing is, the rest of my game is comparatively good, not outstanding by any means, but I have solid interactions. AA has got me big time and with this current weakness I'm not going to get any further with the rest of my game.

So, in the end I wound up getting opened, this is a bit shameful as I should have opened her, but I'll happily take this over a night of nothing. It was when I was at the bar; this hot Canadian chick next to me said something. I have no idea what but I jumped at the opportunity and ploughed through with some conversation anyway. Instantly things were flowing, I had the theory internalized and knew to project my voice, lean back, use kino and lots of gesturing and I was teasing her and being playful. I made a few mistakes, like asking her name too soon, but generally all was going great. I told her we should sit down and led her over to a couple of seats (side by side of course) and things were going incredibly, she was laughing and doing the fake indignant reaction loads!

I then encountered the first of several of the same type of problem, which I wasn't prepared for. Her friend came over and I was left with my dick in my hand as they chatted excitedly. Instantly I could feel my value dropping as I knew I should open another set or something (or if I'd been more aware I could have caught this other chick with conversation before she started talking to the Canadian girl) my AA limited me though.

After this setback I recovered well enough and we moved to the dance-floor. But her friends were there and as much as I tried they were unimpressed with me. I went for another drink and when I came back she had some other guy all over her. I didn't show any emotion to this (there is no failure only feedback!), but I did look a bit silly standing there waiting for her so I went away and stood by the wall to watch the rest of the live band's set.

After a while she came over and said she wanted me to pretend to be her boyfriend as the guy was being creepy in the way he was feeling and talking to her. I obliged trying to dial things up by asking her how far she wanted me to take this act, I kissed her on the cheek and then the neck a bit. Which she liked... I think.

I should probably have escalated at this point, but I didn't really know what I was doing. We chatted for a bit and she said her friends were looking for her over on the dance floor and she should get back to them. She nodded as if she was asking me to join, but I knew things wouldn't be good when I was around her friends. I should have taken her number and left at this point, but instead I let her go, hung about a bit then realised I wanted to go home as I was tired. I thought about going up and asking for her number, but after so long a debacle it would have just been awkward for everyone to do that in front of her friends (again, I think… I may regret this when I get more clued up!). So, I decided to cut my losses go home and get an early night which I really need!

It's a weird experience doing pick up the way I've done it. I wouldn't recommend it. I've got lots of knowledge, too much so, like what I should be doing and when, and it does come in handy, but actually doing it for real left me confused and enlightened at the same time. It was almost like I was consulting myself, one on one while the interaction was happening, telling myself what I should be doing, then realizing I didn't know how to do it! I also clearly didn't absorb all the material I've learnt as I never had experience like this to relate it to before.

Particular problem's of mine are how I could show value when a girl's friend arrives (female or male), how I might have escalated better when kissing her while pretending to be her boyfriend (if this was even the right move) and also how to get the girl's friends/group to like you. Should I have done stories, been a comedian or what? Either way I'd have to do a lot of work to get good at those, but I'll do it if it will help in this kind of situation in the future.

That was the start of my adventure. That's when I started going in field, and I was prepared to do it alone right from the start because I saw little choice. I think I had an exaggerrated sense of my own abilities (probably a good thing to have for my game) considering what I now know compared to back then, although I was correct that AA was crippling me. 

I was also in my head WAY to much (even the title I gave the report hurts my head to read - "AA, Theory, Higher Value And Group Dynamics - Problems"), but being in your head is actually quite natural when you're starting out with a new skill, and not something that should stop you giving it a go. Time in field clears this up and you do start to act more naturally and start to do the right things with less thought.

I can't recommend enough to new guys starting out that you should spend your first 3-6 months just learning to open in as many situations and in as many ways as possible. The freedom this provides you to develop the rest of your social skills is immense. My advice - Find someone who can already do it and offer whatever value you have that will make them want to teach you. Opening is what makes you available to the girl, and allows you to learn from interactions, which are the best teacher you will ever have to get you good at game.